Striking a Balance

(This is a special blog post for St Philip’s, Sheffield)

Being out here in Uganda for only two full days I have suddenly realised how much Jesus has changed me whilst being at St Philip’s. I just want to say thank you for helping me become more ‘me’ over the last few years and for helping me develop the areas that I’m not naturally so good at - striking that Myers Briggs balance.

Then

I have historically been quite a shy person who doubts herself and can’t handle any kind of failure; I wouldn’t try anything much in case the inevitable happened. I’ve been someone who has wallowed in my room as a bit of a loner, feeling sorry for myself and generally not seeing the benefits of being with people. I’ve been a massive procrastinator (now I’m just a little one) who sees no need for forward planning and therefore found myself stressed out multiple times a day.

Now

As I’ve been adjusting to life here and thinking about my sewing project I’ve had a few significant kairoses:

• I’m not sure how to process things without other people
• I want to be challenged and to push myself
• I crave deep levels of community
• I appreciate the importance of planning, preparation and rhythms (with room for spontaneity built in of course)

Being me

Something happens to me when I’m in Uganda that allows me to be FREE and I realised that I now have that feeling when I’m in England too, I just didn't know it until I moved away. 

Yesterday I felt more like me than I’ve felt in a long time; I made a prototype of a sleep mask (NOT a bra) on the sewing machine, I painted a picture (which might portray a bit how I’m feeling right now), I went swimming, I journalled by the pool, and I skyped Line and Hannah (yes Matt Broughton, that’s more than one thing in a day!) One of the things that really impacted me from the Internship was that I realised I feel closest to God and have revelations of Him when I'm being creative.

I have blessed the room where I sit right now (thanks Sharon Earl for the oil) and although I’m alone I am using this time constructively to plan the weeks and months ahead. Later I’ll go out for a swim after I’ve done some sewing and later I’ll see my friends…